NFL 2023 Player Futures

Welcome back everyone to your friendly neighborhood gambler Rusty (@RustyHHsports).

If you didn’t see my first article introducing myself check it out here.

Enter obligatory warning here: *This is not real betting advice. Don’t take anything I say seriously. Yes I will be taking these picks but if you want smart picks check out the other guys. This is all satirical and to add a bit of entertainment to the Happy Hour Team, please don’t listen to me. There’s a good reason I’ve had to reset my action network picks every few months.*

Alright so let’s dive into player awards this year. I’m going to cover MVP, OPOY, ROY and honorable mentions.

MVP

1. Josh Allen + 800

Piss missile of an arm. Great offense. Love this team as a super bowl winner. No idea what the stats say but as I said in my last article arguably the most fun qb to watch play right now. Dude just lowers his shoulder and runs through guys. Now some of you nerds may say “oh well doesn’t that make him more injury prone?” If that’s you, stop reading, you don’t deserve my knowledge. Vibes are guiding this pick. We can’t think negatively. As my therapist says, we need to work on positive visualization.

2. Justin Fields +2000

When I watch Justin Fields play football I get butterflies in my stomach. It’s like being in love and asking that girl to the 7th grade dance. It’s exciting, it’s fun, it’s tingly. Sure you may be left in heartbreak when she rejects you or when the bears are terrible again this year and go 0-17, but you finally feel alive again. Is this a smart bet? I’d assume Deej would say no, but I love this man. There is further that I would say here to describe my love but Deej wants me to keep the NSFW content to a minimum

3. Tua +2200

If Tua can avoid becoming a cripple (seriously someone please tell him to stop playing football) I love this pick. Between him, Tyreek Hill and Mr. Waddle this could be a great season for Tua.

OPOY

1. Justin Jefferson +1300

The 2022 OPOY winner is one of the favorites again this year. I simply don’t see him slowing down. The Vikings defense is so abysmal that their offense constantly has opportunities to produce. It’s a little concerning that he didn’t rank his own qb as top 5 in the league but unless there’s some trouble in paradise this is a great pick.

2. CMAC +1500

Finally gets a chance to have an entire off-season under the legend Kyle Shanahan. He was already stellar last year joining the team halfway through the season. I have a really hard time not seeing him finish at least top 3 for this award. Barring any injury CMAC should have another HOF level season.

3. Bijan Robinson +4000 *sprinkle

There are plenty of high expectations this year on the rookie out of Texas. Talent wise, this kid is a stud. The question is how well will it transfer to the NFL in comparison to the Swiss cheese defense of the big 12. Hence why this is just a sprinkle. I personally think he’s going to be an absolute monster in the NFL but time will tell!

I do love him as OROY at +275. This I will be making a large bet on.

DPOY

1. Micah Parsons +650

*woof woof*

*woof*

Do you hear that? Oh wait that’s just Micah Parson’s who has that dog in him. He’s the favorite this year for a reason. Plus he’ll be chasing around the pitiful NFC east QBs (yes I’m talking about Jalen hurts) all season. He should get at least 8 sacks in the two eagles games alone. Lock it in.

2. Maxx Crosby +1600

I think the odds here are too high. I couldn’t tell you his stat line from last year but I’ll tell you this much… I saw him that one season on hard knocks *I think* and he’s a stud. I also feel like I’ve seen lots of tweets talking about how great he looks this off-season. So that’s gotta be worth something right??

3. Khalil Mack +20000

I miss you daddy 🙁

Honorable mentions futures

Most rushing yards: Jonathan Taylor +650 (0.5u)
Most receiving touchdowns: Justin Jefferson +1200 (0.5u)
Most regular season interceptions: Dak +1000 (0.5u)
Justin fields o 800.5 rushing yards -110 HAMMER IT (2u)

The picks

MVP

Josh Allen +800 (1u)
Justin Fields +2000 (1u)
Tua +2200 (0.5u)

OPOY

Justin Jefferson +1300 (1u)
CMAC +1500 (1U)
Bijan Robinson +4000 (0.25u)

DPOY

Michah Parsons +650 (1.5u)
Maxx Crosby +1600 (0.5u)
Khalil Mack +20000 (don’t actually bet this but if you do 0.25u)

This is an article written by Rusty