Rusty Picks the NFL Betting Plays for Week 6 23-24′

Welcome back to another episode of fastest ways to lose your money while enjoying watching our favorite sports. Last week’s official picks actually ended up 3 units. There’s probably decimals in there that make it 2.8 or something like that but I refuse to do all that math. Hopefully I can actually just follow my picks this week and end up in the positive. Unlike last week where I just started firing units at everything and ended up in the negative. Oh well. That’s life. I can probably take out another mortgage again to pay bills but that’s neither here nor there. Let’s get into week 6 matchups.

As usual I will make plays on every game but my official picks are the 1 unit or higher plays.

Enter obligatory warning here: *This is not real betting advice. Don’t take anything I say seriously. Yes I will be taking these picks but if you want smart picks check out the other guys. This is all satirical and to add a bit of entertainment to the Happy Hour Team. There’s a good reason I’ve had to reset my Action Network picks every few months.*

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Broncos @ Chiefs

Thursday night football starts our week off with a crumbling Broncos going into arrowhead. I’m always sketchy about big spreads on TNF given the short rest and all that jazz. But one thing that is for certain is the Broncos defense is absolute Swiss cheese. They gave up 31 to the Jets, 28 to the Bears, 70 to the Dolphins and 35 to the Commanders. Which brings us to the first super mega whale shark fin 4 unit play of the season.

The pick: Chiefs team total O29.5 (4u)


Titans @ Ravens

Across the pond we have a bum matchup of the Titans and the Ravens. I can not BELIEVE both these teams lost last week. Stunned. This is gross. I was initially thinking under but I can not bet an under that low in good conscience. It’s gonna be ugly. Lamar looked bad last week so I’m going to take the titans and the 4.5 points here.

The pick: Titans +4.5 (1u)


Vikings @ Bears

THE BEARS ARE FUCKING BACK BABY. Bears futures are back on and they look unbeatable. Vegas has the wrong team favored here. Justin Jefferson is out and the Bears have all the momentum. Fields is playing for his job at this point and I love this play this week.

The pick: Bears +3 (2u) – I’m going to take the ML but the official pick is the spread at 3. I love this.

Colts @ Jaguars

Colts looked good last week and Minshew Mania is underway for Indy. They’ve continued to surprise me this year. The jags win was a fluke (I blame it on the Bills traveling overseas so close to kickoff).

The pick: Colts +4.5 (1u) ; sprinkle that ML (0.5u)


Seahawks at Bengals

As a fan of football I love this matchup and am very curious to see the results. Bengals looked like the old Bengals this past week and the Seahawks are coming off a bye. I’m personally falling for the Bengals hype again (probably dumb).

The pick: Bengals -3 (0.5u)


Panthers @ Dolphins

Oh man is this gonna be a shit kicking. Oof. The Dolphins may score 100 points. I like the Dolphins spread but I get wet thinking about the Dolphins team total. Tyreek Hill might have 6 touchdowns.

The picks: Dolphins team total O30.5 (3u)


Saints @ Texans

I have a hard time deciphering what happened last week. Saints looked amazing but they basically played St Mary’s school for the blind 5th grade girls football team. On the other side I really like the Texans last week and they lost to the Falcons. This feels like an easy pick, Saints ML. Why is it so easy to pick tho? This is a perfect opportunity for Rusty’s fade yourself play of the week.

The pick: Texans ML (0.5u)

49ers @ Browns

The 49ers look like an absolute juggernaut. Thankfully I have a Super Bowl future on them. The Browns have been eh ok. 2-2. This line currently sits at 5.5. I imagine it gets up to 7 by kickoff. But I’m comfortable with this line up to -69.

The pick: 49ers -5.5 (1u)


Commanders @ Falcons

Gross. Slop bowl. Poverty franchises. I’m throwing a dart here.

The pick: falcons ML (0.5u)


Patriots @ Raiders

The 2023 Patriots may be the worst team in NFL history. I really trusted Bill to turn them around last week but now I’m thinking they need to fire him. Raiders played ok against the packers but shit I think the powderpuff team I coached in HS could beat these patriots.

The pick: Raiders -3 (1u)

Lions @ Bucs

Oooooo man the Lions train carries on. I fucking love this team and Dan Campbell. It’s wild, even being a Bears fan, I just love watching this team win. The Bucs have been playing surprisingly very well but I don’t see them covering here.

The pick: Lions -3 (1u)


Eagles @ Jets

Am I crazy here thinking the Jets could cover 7? I mean they barely escaped last week against the Broncos (the score doesn’t accurately reflect how close this game was). But it looks like Zach Wilson and the J men have their swagger back. Eagles looked real solid against the Rams but fuck them.

The pick: Jets +7 (0.5u)

Cardinals @ Rams

Well it seems like the hype train on both these teams have come to an end. Cardinals got embarrassed, Rams didn’t look like the playoff team I thought they could be. I’m leaning Rams and will probably use them in a parlay. Either way I think this will be a fun high scoring game.

The pick: over 48.5 (0.5u)

Giants @ Bills

Man, I’m heartbroken about the Bills last week. So frustrating to watch that game. There’s clearly a disconnect on the sideline between Allen and Diggs. This feels like their last chance to get their shit figured out. If they can’t beat the Giants by 30 they might as well forget a Super Bowl run. This is a get right game. I still believe in this team.

The pick: Bills -14 (1u); Bills TT O29.5 (1u)


Cowboys @ Chargers

The Cowboys got spanked on national television last week worse than I did when I tried to pinch mogo at the company Christmas party last year. FRAUDS. I’m a moron for believing in them. The chargers have also been underwhelming this year. I’m more of a believer in the Chargers then the Cowboys so with that Bulletproof analysis I’m picking the chargers

The pick: Chargers ML (1u)

All Rusty’s Official NFL Week 6 Picks

Chiefs team total O29.5 (4u)
Titans +4.5 (1u)
Bears +3 (2u)
Colts +4.5 (1u)
Dolphins team total O30.5 (3u)
49ers -5.5 (1u)
Raiders -3 (1u)
Bills -14 (1u)
Bills TT O29.5 (1u)
Chargers ML (1u)


Primetime Parlay

Bills alt spread -7/ Chargers ML

Day game parlay (Week 6 NFL Betting Plays)

Dolphins ML/ 49ers ML/ Rams ML

Get rich quick parlay

Bears ML/ Colts ML/ Raiders ML

Tease me daddy (6 point) Teaser of the week teams I love

Titans, Bears, Colts, Dolphins, Rams, Chargers
My favorite pairing being Bears and Colts.


Thank you for reading! I appreciate the support as always


Check out my Twitter @rustyHHsports

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This is an article written by Rusty

Rusty - Writer for Happy Hour Sports - 'Merica


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Chicago Bears



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